At what age should we teach our children to clean their room and wash the dishes and such???

My husband makes me feel bad becuase I want to train my two daughters to clean up after themselves and to wash the dishes. My mom made us do that stuff when we were little. Especially me. My brother had outside chores and sometimes, it didn't matter who did what as long as it got done. But my husbands mother did everything. EVERYTHING. They didn't have to do nothing (but cut grass) and so he thinks she is to young to do chores. She is 8 going on 12 and on my nerves. My soon to be 4 yr.old will do what she does. I am aggrevated cause he won't help me to enforce the rule. In fact, when it comes to the girls, there is no set bed time or restriction on t.v. I would send them out to play with the neigbor's kids that live in our building but he wants me outside looking at them. I understand the security, but they play in a group of kids for GOD'S SAKE. Is this more of a controlling issue or does he really not know that mothers have to train their children to do chores.At what age should we teach our children to clean their room and wash the dishes and such???
from the time my kids could walk I'd give them a rag and they'd follow me around wiping off stuff while I was cleaning. It's not good for kids to have no responsibility. My mother in law was the same way and I went on strike for a week and let him fend for himself. I believe that since Im a stay at home mom that most of the chores are mine, but it dsn't hurt for him or the kids to pick up either. It makes it nice for youAt what age should we teach our children to clean their room and wash the dishes and such???
I make sure my 3 and a half year old son and my 2 year old daughter pick up their toys after they're done playing. I teach them to throw away their trash, and bring their dishes to the sink. Obviously they cant lift a huge trash bag or do the dishes, but it never hurts to get it instilled at a young age to pick up after yourself.
He probably doent care because he doesnt do anything either im assumming. It doesnt hurt to teach them things novv. My son is 4 and I have him clean his room, if he's old enough to drag everything out and make a mess then he's old enough to pick it up too. It just teaches them responsibilty and to keep there room clean.
well, in my opinion, i think you should teach them to clean up after themselves for certain thing from moment they are able to stand up and walk on their own. but as far as washing dishes, teach them when they are able to see over the sink. i don't think this is a control issue, you just want your kids to grow to be responsible people, which i think is a good thing.
I agree that u need to start from age 1,having them help pick up their toys.If u dont make them do it,u are going to have lazy spoiled little brats that think everything will be handed to them.They will have a crappy attitude.I know,I have 4 of the laziest kids going.Thats why I am starting early with my 1 yr old...
Its never too young to instill the importance of helping out. My daughter is 1 and loves to do things to help. She takes her dirty diaper to the trash, she puts her dirty clothes in the hamper. She helps pick up her toys when its time to clean up. She feels like a big girl, not to mention its completely adorable to see her sweet smile when she gets praise for doing good.
I started teaching my kids as soon as they were ols enought to understand instructions. My son is now 5 and hates to tidy up but we have now introduced a reward chart and if he gets enough ticks at the end of the week he gets a nice treat. It works great and ive got a relativly tidy house
your husben is trying to do things like when he was a kid when women had no rights. your daghter should have to do somethings around the house but remember shes just a kid.Cleaning your room,you should have made her do that a long time agoand for your son now would be the age to start helping you do things!!!
Teaching your girls to clean up after themselves will teach them to be responcible, start teaching them both to, they are both old enough. I'm sorry about your husband, he doesn't sound very supportive, and that makes a big difference. Good Luck!
As soon as they can move to get to the toy box they can learn to clean up after themselves. By age 8 there should be some serious contributing to the family going on. I would say if dad doesn't want them to clean let him do it.
i had to pick up my things from a very early stage, like 3 or so but im sure my mum taught me before that.


you need to sit down with your husband and you guys need to agree on something otherwise your kids will get mixed messages. did his mum work? i doubt it...
In Mexico, the mother does all the work, and the girls in the family start helping out as soon as they can walk.
Umm yea you should teach them to clean the room at around 1-2 yrs old..and my 6 yr old and 4 yr old daughter washes dishes...And you just have to make sure they are well cleaned..they do good tho
Heck do it now, they get to be teenagers it is like they forgot what planet they were born on!


Hubby a mamas boy? Oh oh......
you start teaching them to clean up after themselves when they are old enough to get their own toys out.
AT 7 YEARS OLD BECAUSE TILL THIRD STANDARD THEY WILL BE AS A KID SO WE MUST TEACH THEM TO CLEAN THE ROOM AT 8TH YEAR OLD
now!!
From the time my kids were old enough to walk and drag the toys out they have been taught to put them back where they got them from. When they turned about 4 then they started ';making'; their beds and cleaning their rooms. I didnt redo it when they made it wrong instead helped them to learn to make it right. They have also always helped me load the dishwasher etc, get their clothes in the hamper, put up clothes etc. Part of being a family is helping out. If you all chip in on the work then there is more time for the fun things they want to do and it teaches them some responsibility. When I was growing up we had a housekeeper and I never did anything and it showed when I moved out on my own I swore then my kids would know how to clean up after themselves. My husband like yours thinks that because I was home all day that I should do it until I got sick and he had to do it and then he backed me up. Make it fun for the kids to help. Give each one a task such as vacuming or putting away the dishes and then see who can do their job fastest and right. My kids are now 15, 11 and 8 and they know to make their bed in the morning, place their dirty dishes in the dishwasher, how to operate the washer and dryer etc. It hasnt hurt them in the least.
my kids 4 2 and 1 all are made to pick up there toys after playing if not whatever is on the floor gets taken away for a few days. my oldest is made to help wash the table and he actually enjoys washing his and younger siblings dishes (i pre wash them and then stand near by to ensure theres no mess but he gets the idea that things need to be tidy for us all to live happy and healthy..





i think your hubby needs to stop treating your girls like royalty and teach them some much important life skills.
My boys are 10-7yrs old and they have a schedule and do dishes every night alternating who does dishes by the day... they also do the garbage and make their beds and pick up their toys... they are rewarded like tonight after dinner they are going to a gaming center for 2 hours of video gaming as part of their monthly entertainment... kids need to learn responsiblity and this is a good way to teach them,... tell hubby to lighten up and either he helps u or they do but the choice is his...
I guess it depends on you as parents. You and your husband need to agree on an age though. You both need to enforce this for it to work.





I think I will encourage my child to clean at a very early age just so that when I do want them to do their chores, they will not be so shocked and lazy about it.





I was a kid that did NOTHING around the house. But unlike your husband, I want my kids to do chores...





If you don't teach them now though, they may just grow up to be messy people and i'm sure you don't want that?
i think the 8 year old can doany chore you wish to give her and i think the 4 year old can help with laundry like folding and such and cleaning up toys...like my 19 month old helps me he helps pick up his toys and he will put wet clothes that i pass to him into the dryer and he will pick up dirty clothes out of the hamper and put them into the washer with my help and supervision of course
the 8 year old can help around the house i have my oldest step son 9yrs old help take out trash dishes pick up his room and put away his own landry that gose also with me youngest step son 7 he put his own clothes away and also he picks up the living room and help his older brother with their bed room and he will help me in the kitchen my daughter 2 in june i help her pick her room up and she will put her pulup in the trash i ask of real small things of her but if their old enough to go hang out with friends and such they can help around the house
Not sure about the method to his madness but 8 and up is definatley a great time to get your kids in on chores and responcibility.





Set routines, rules, and guidelines in your home. Children want and need this. It makes them understand what they can do and what the day will be like.





Let your child help with challenging tasks. Encourage your child to try to perform new tasks and to face new challenges. By doing so, you will certainly boost your child鈥檚 sense of competence.





Encourage your child to make decisions. Begin encouraging decision-making while your child is young. At first, choices should be kept simple, like allowing your child to choose from two outfits which one to wear. As your child ages, encourage her to make more complex decisions. Your child will learn to make good choices by being given choices. This would be what you would want to start doing with your 4 year old. The younger, the better.





Giving your child chores she can handle is a good way to build self-confidence and responsibility in your child. Let them set the table, water plants or flowers, bring clothes to the washer, or picking up their toys. They will be stubborn at first but they will help you more and more. As your child matures, consider additional ways your child can contribute to the household. Doing chores is a useful way to learn persistence and to learn that when we live up to our responsibilities we enable others to trust and rely on us.





Teaching your children to accept responsibility for their actions is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. You only have so many years while they are under your roof.
well do it now or you will be doing it forever. And I have my kids clean up and it is not about helping me but its about responsibilites. And if I am going to buy my 12 year old 200 Ipods and video games and cd's she better do something to earn them and My son is 4 and he cleans up after himself. Right now he does it because he likes to help mom but I am pretty sure that will end soon. Good luck and if your husband does not want the kids to do chores let him do them
Well, now is a good time for you to teach them to do some chores, you can make a chart with the days and the chores each child needs to do, for example you can teach them that everytime they wake up they have to make their beds as soon as they put one foot on the floor, and show them how to make them, you can ask the 4 year old to set the table and the 8 year old to pick them up after everybody has finished eating, and before they go to bed you can make them put away the toys and whatever is on the floor of their room. That will be a good start. Don't give them a lot of things at once, since they will feel is too much, you can start with two assignments and then go from there.


***with ';playing outside with their friends';, 8 and 4 year old are still way too young to be outside without supervision, I completely agree with your husband, no matter how many kids are playing, it is your (and your husband's) responsability to watch over them. ***
It's going to be hard because he was ';raised'; that way, so that is all he knows and something he is comfortable doing. I am sure in the back of your head your thinking ';I want my children to be able to clean up after themselves once they grow-up and move out.'; I would have them help you as you clean up - like ';help mommy clean up your bed';. ';Let's pick up the toys'; ';You dry and I will wash';. This way they are learning the skills and its not like is ';chores'; its helping mommy.





Solutions are always hard when you deal with different backgrounds.





Good Luck!!





OH- I plan to implement chores as soon as my daugther can recognize where things ';go';. I'll start with clean up your toys, and slide into ';chores'; probably around the age of 7 or 8 - they will be age appropriate.
Well the first couple of sentence explains why your husband is the way he is...because mommy did everything for him...I think that every child should be learning to take care of themselves as early as possbile..It's not like what you are teaching them isn't for their own good. It teaches them to take care of themselves as they get grown. Question...didn't you and hubby discuss this before you got married..LOL..best of luck ..your hubby is wrong!
As soon as they are able to walk they can help out. Young kids actually like doing work like things. Get the 4y/o a small broom and dust pan, the 8y/o her own clean up basket with towels, duster, windex..etc.


My kids helped with the dishes at 5. just be sure to remove all knives and special glassware. I put mine on chairs or steps to reach the sink. Just don't expect it to be done perfectly, but praise their efforts.


You'll have to talk with hubby...let him know you're not trying to get out of work....just instilling good habits in the girls.';train up a child in the way he should go...';


The bedtime and tv restrictions is for their physical and mental health...if he's a reader you might have to pull some articles that support what you are trying to do and ask him what he thinks about it after reading it.


Surely he doesn't want his girls to grow up always dependent on someone else. Our jobs as parents is to always move them towards independence.